Into the ocean

Now floating up and down. I spin, colliding into sound like whales beneath me diving down. I’m sinking to the bottom of my everything that freaks me out.
The lighthouse beam has just run out and I’m cold as cold as cold can be.
I want to swim away but don’t know how.
Sometimes it feels just like I’m falling in the ocean, so let the waves up take me down, let the hurricane set in motion, let the rain of what I feel right now…come down
Let the rain come down.

Where is the coastguard? I keep looking each direction for a spotlight. Give me something ’cause I need something for protection.
Maybe flotsam junk will do just fine; the jetsam sunk, I’m left behind. I’m treading for my life believe me
How can I keep up this breathing?

Not knowing how to think, I scream aloud, begin to sink, my legs and arms are broken down with envy for the solid ground.
I’m reaching for the life within me.
How can one man stop his ending?
I thought of just your face, relaxed, and floated into space…

Now waking to the sun, I calculate what I had done: like jumping from the bow, just to prove I knew how.
It’s midnight’s late reminder of rhe loss of her, the one I love.
My will to quickly end it all set front row in my need to fall.

Into the ocean, end it all…